Loneliness feels different for everyone: it’s a deeply personal emotion and is a subjective feeling defined by the amount and type of connection required
in your life.
The social isolation and fear triggered by the recent pandemic can certainly influence this heavily. During a global crisis, the fear of being alone can feel especially real.
It’s apparent that loneliness is extremely scary for a young demographic: 42% of millennial women are more afraid of loneliness than a Cancer diagnosis, according to
a 2017 survey.
Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy has defined loneliness as an epidemic, as chronic loneliness can have the health effects of smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Humans crave closeness and in times like these, it can be hard to find enough of it. According to a 2019 survey by health insurer Cigna, 61% of people feel lonely from “not enough social support, too few meaningful social interactions, poor physical and mental health, and not enough balance in our lives.”
The origins of loneliness come from prehistoric times, in the earliest civilizations, loneliness was a biological prompt to get back with a tribe, where you’d find protection. It wasn’t until about 200 years ago that the word loneliness first emerged whereas before, it was just described as solitude. Boredom and loneliness were considered things only the middle class would experience because working class people were always busy. Somewhere along the road, the view shifted and since then we’ve combined solitude and loneliness: when we are alone, we feel lonely.
It’s apparent that loneliness is extremely scary for a young demographic: 42% of millennial women are more afraid of loneliness than a Cancer diagnosis, according to
a 2017 survey.
Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy has defined loneliness as an epidemic, as chronic loneliness can have the health effects of smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Due to this, we’ve come to create a society where our widespread fear is also our lived reality. We’re living in single-person homes and one bedroom apartments at higher rates than ever, however we also know we can still feel lonely in a crowd of people. The same goes for romantic relationships: rates of loneliness are just as high if you are in a relationship with 60% of married people expressing feeling loneliness.
The fear of being alone certainly isn’t helped by decades of media portrayals of single women. There are few narratives that celebrate a character who is alone by choice. When it comes to starting a family, there are very few examples of someone choosing to be on their own, particularly women, without feeling remorse or regret. We’re constantly shown that being alone is never a choice, but rather is unfortunate, depressing, shameful, or pitiable.
Loneliness is a vicious cycle. When you feel lonely, you also feel isolated, which only results in you feeling more alone. By nature, loneliness tells us that there must be something wrong with us and that no one else feels this way.